Wednesday, October 15, 2008
"Save this selfless lines for another day"They say you learn from your mistakes, then whats my problem? Mistakes, not once, not twice, three maybe? Honestly Ive lost count.I can never tell you what he meant or didnt mean or mean. Pure intentions, thoughts and revelations have been clouded by absolute amounts of denial, phrased in ways that eventually turn into the taking reality.Every day is a mere preparation of waiting for history to repeat itself. And my problem is, I know it too well. Just like I know that hope is what I need but have too much of.Oh, Ive wanted you, want you, and never really did.But really, what's the point? You never really wanted me. Just a clear substitution, an option, a recycle. And though I realise this, it still eludes me. What I want, and ever wanted when it came to you was for you to want me in sincerity. Like the way you wanted/want (?) her.I should stop writing about you, speaking about you, thinking about you. But you're always there, always here, forever taunting me with the notion that I can never have you wholly.Leave if you will, if all of this is just a game. And take the thought of you, the idea and your ideals with you. And I will watch you walk off, like so many times before with the same indefinates. No amount of reminders would do, or the infamous post-it on my mirror. It watched as I let you build me up, just so you can break me all over again.