The Sun will set for you.
I have never been ignorant about death, never been one of those stupid delusional kids who didnt understand it. Although sometimes I wish I was. My first funeral, was my grandfathers one. I was six, and I knew that he was gone but I didnt feel anything. Not because Im some stone cold stoic person, I just didnt know what to feel.
I still dont know what to feel, its like there's this blood sucking vacuum parasital shit inside me that just wont allow me to wallow. Or maybe its just too profound, too sudden, too frequent that its just embedded that its lost its feel to it.
Nazirul Izwan.
I remember gushing about your doe like eyes to Lina and having fights with boyfriends over you. And how we'd see each other but always just exchange glances but never words.
I hate how I feel like I dont feel enough, and how the magnitude of it all only hits me for fragments of seconds and Im just left dumbfounded. I hate how the only thing I can think of to commerate you is a simple cliche "In loving memory of."
I want to write about you with child like innocence and profound sorrow, but I cant. So here;
Weeping willow,
With your tears running down.
Why do you always weep and frown?
Is it because he left you one day?
Is it because he could not stay?
On your branches he would swing,
Do you long for the happiness,
That day would bring?
He found shelter in your shade,
You thought his laughter would never fade.
Weeping willow stop your tears,
For there is something to calm your fears.
You think death has ripped you forever apart,
But I know he’ll always be in your heart.
Zee, thanks for everything.