Thursday, January 03, 2008
"Oh my God, its like I have 2 eyes."2007's all wrapped up, and I spent the new years closing a chapter instead of welcoming one. I felt like I needed it, to be alone one last time with the 2 most reliable friends, except due to circumstances I was only left with one."I am too much alone, yet not alone enough," I swear Rilke's poem is my life's header. And as much as my bombastic ego refuses me from letting anyone in, this year, its going to be different.So lets wrap up 07 in a nutshell. This year was exceptionally tough, and I dont think anyone realised how it affected me, considering I dont to feelings and all, so no one saw me flinch the tiniest bit. Friendships crumbled, strained by new experiences and immaturity, my whole focus on the year was definately sidetracked, with more bleakness, smokes and the added expectations that I though would finally leave me.But relationships grew stronger and new found friends who have been there, equipt with ciggs and silent presence. Just the way I like it. And though this year was one of my shittiest, I guess everyone has to break before they make it. (Although I am so far beyong broken already.)So Im welcoming the new year, pessimiticly optimistic style. Equipt with resolutions I will surely keep (refer-Leen) and my refound passion;-
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
I cannot end this post without a personal and huge shout out to my gay best friend. Dude, you are the bestest pretend gay best friend ever. Thanks for everything the past year.