Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Its a hope and a half.I know Ive never been a happy person. Always been the one who could see through the transparency of anyone trying to do any 'good.' But Ive never felt like this, like ____, there's not even a word for it. Like I just want to give up and flail my arms up in the air with utter despair and fall back and just watch the world go on with life.Its like I dont want to be present in my life, I just want to sit at the sidelines and watch it go on. I with all honesty want to give up and let go off everything and anything Ive ever worked for and ever held dreams for, go, and experience the life of someone who 'could have been'And all I need right now, is for everyone to just go away. So I can light a stick and smoke my conscious away.It is life in slow motion,it's the heart in reverse,it's a hope-and-a-half:too much and too little at once